Do’s and don’ts for visitors to pattaya.

Published : June 11, 2006 :: 11:06:40 [ 620 views ]

Do’s and don’ts for visitors to pattaya.

We told him, but he wouldn’t listen. Bob was on his first visit to Pattaya. “Don’t stagger out of a Bar, half cut, at two in the morning, wearing that heavy Gold Chain round your neck, or you will regret it, Bob” I said.

“Don’t you worry about me Mate, I have a Black Belt in Karate” he replied.

That Night, he staggered out of a Beer Bar, half cut, at nearly two in the Morning. Two lovely Lady Boys came up to him. One pressed herself against him, and slid her hand between his wobbley legs.Whilst his attention was directed South, the other beauty deftly removed the Gold Chain from around his sweaty neck! It was all over in about 20 seconds.

This sort of thing happens almost nightly in Pattaya. But it doesn’t have to happen to you. Just observe a few simple rules, and you will be as safe, or even safer, than you are at home-

Never do what Bob did. OK?

If you take a Girl from a Bar, you will be asked to pay a ‘Bar Fine’ of anything from 350 bht to 1500bht depending on the quality of the bar and the Girl. Then she will want around 500bht for a ‘Short Time’ which is usually about an hour in your Hotel Room, or 1000/2000bht for all Night. If you pick-up ‘a Chicken’ from the Beach you avoid the bar fine, but you take the chance of having your wallet stolen whilst you sleep, after the nights activity. Or if you are foolish enough not to use a Condom, getting an STD. Now, lets be quite clear on this. Not ALL ‘Chickens are thieves, nor are they all riddled with disease. It’s just a little more dangerous that’s all.

Many Farangs fall head over heels in love with Thai Bar Girls. Bad idea fellas…..They are in the business of getting as much cash out of you as they can. “Mama sick. Must go Hopital” or Papa need newTractor” or “My Baby have no clothes for go schoolthe list of pathetic requests for money is long and ingenious.

I have told myself a dozen times not to fall for it. But when the tears roll down those lovely cheeks…….”How much “ comes out of my mouth, and Money from my pocket. How can one resist these lovely young things?
But we must. We really must stop being seen as walking ATM machines. So be strong. Be very very strong.

So,having found the Lady of your dreams, you decide to take her out of the bar. To make a decent life for her. She is delighted to hear this. She never wanted to be a GoGo Dancer in the first place. But she needs money “For Family” . No Problem. You will send her 10000bht a month as long as she stops working in The Sex Trade. She agrees with a sincerity that only a bounder could doubt. That night she gives you the best time you have ever had. Thank God for Viagra!

Of course , what you don’t know is that she already has a couple of other Farang Boyfriends, and like you, they are sending money to her Bank Account each month.. And as soon as you leave for home, she will be right back in the bar, looking for another stupid Farang. You’ve got to give it to them…….admiration that is.

Foolishly, some customers have refused to pay, for a week or so, of unbridled sex, in a rented Condo. This is not reccomended. The consequences can be fatal. Most Girls have tough Thai Boyfriends, or lots of Brothers, and a flying lesson off a tenth floor Balcony has occurred, on several occasions recently. When asked why they thought he jumped, the Police will simply shrug, and say “Suicide”.

Thai Guys may look thin and small, but they can be very tough. So never pick a fight with one. Just walk away. It’s easily the best thing to do, as he probably has a dozen pals just waiting to join in, if he starts getting the worst of it.

Actually, if you want a hassle free time in Pattaya, just smile a lot, do a few wais at them, and NEVER disrespect the Royal Family of Buddha.

Oh yes! And Never Never do Drugs. You could end up in Clink for a long long time, and Thai Prisons are quite unpleasant places I hear.